Confession: I Was That Parent

I have a confession. I was that parent that you are talking about in your planning meetings. That parent who has no idea where their child is in their Awana handbook, the parent who did not regularly help their child study their sections. Should I have been more involved in my child’s Awana progress? Maybe.

I have another confession. I did not help my children much with their school work either, except to ask if they had their homework done.

Was I a bad parent?

If my children had a question about Awana, or school, they knew that they could ask me and I would take the time to help them. Otherwise, they knew that they were to work on their own. They were capable. They were competent. They were encouraged.

As Awana leaders, we know the impact it can have when a parent is involved with their child working through the handbooks. The reality is there are parents, like me, who will not be as involved in their child’s handbook progress as Awana leadership would like them to be.

When we address a parent’s ability to disciple their child, what criteria are we using? Are they discipling their child if they utilize all that our ministry provides? If they bring their child to all of our planned ministry events? Should they disciple their child using the Sunday School, Children’s Church, or Awana resources? Should they use all three? What if the parent is led to teach their child something else? Is that acceptable?

I know, you’re screaming, but Deuteronomy 6 says that parents are to teach their children! Does it? Let’s take a look…

Verse 4 begins, “Hear, O Israel:”It does not says Hear O parents of children of Israel”. Moses was addressing the entire nation of Israel, young and old, married and single, those who bore children and those who did not. Verse 7 does say to teach them diligently to your children. Does a single man or woman not have to teach these things to others? Should they not write these things on their doorposts? We are all called to teach the things of God to others, which includes children. 

So why are we so hard on parents? We are also commanded to live our lives as an example to the children, not just the ones in our families, but to everyone. Teaching them the things of God. It is an honor to speak into the lives of the children that God has placed in your care, in the ministry He has entrusted to you.

In my home, we attended church faithfully. We prayed before bed and before meals. We ate dinner as a family. We placed a great emphasis on the birth of Jesus before opening presents, and the resurrection before baskets. They saw me serve, and they served, in the local church and beyond. They saw my life, which I did my best to be an example for them as I followed Jesus. Was I perfect? No. No one is perfect. God was ever-present in our home and Awana was a part of the big picture complimenting the other aspects of discipleship taking place in the home.

We talk about how in some families sports take priority over church and it sends the wrong message to the children. We are critical of the parents. Why? Because they did not attend our programs. Allow me a moment to share a story. There was a family in our church that was big in travel ball. They would often miss some Sunday’s because of games. They would be criticized by some for selecting sports over church. Again, these parents exemplified Christ in the home. Their children have grown into wonderful young adults.They discipled their children, just not by the method that many measure discipleship.

I could share many more accounts of parents who discipled their child by living a life exemplifying Christ, but they did not fit the discipleship model that the church seems to expect. They may not be talking about the sermon, the Sunday school or children’s church lesson, or following along in their child’s Awana handbook; but they are showing their children Jesus when they sit, when they rise, when they walk in the way.

Many of those serving in your ministry do not disciple their children as you would like. They do not review take home papers, or assist their child in completing Awana handbook sections. We may make comments in meetings and with other leaders about them not discipling their child as we believe that they should. Let me encourage you to continue to provide resources and encourage parents to disciple their child at home, keeping in mind that it may not always happen the way you envision, or the way you do it in your home.

People are unique. They may not disciple their children using the resources we provide. They may use the resources we provide to compliment what they are already doing in the home. Some children have parents who do not believe what Jesus did for them, so who should disciple these children? If it is not the church’s responsibility, then where does the responsibility fall? In this case I am not talking about the institution of the church, but the followers of Jesus who make up the church universal. It is the responsibility of all who believe.

We seek parents to serve in Awana ministering to other people’s children while we complain that they are not ministering to their own. From my perspective, there is something very wrong with that and it may be a reason why you are having a difficult time finding people to serve. If we continually focus on what we perceive to be other’s weakness in a critical way, then how can we build them up in the faith?

Do I encourage parents to be involved with their children in Awana? Yes. Do I encourage parents to utilize the resources we provide? Yes. But I also understand that they may be teaching the things of God to their children in other ways, not just the way I prescribe. I am not upset if they miss Awana for a game or something else. My responsibility is to teach them about Jesus, not just with words, or Awana handbooks, but with my life. When they see me at the store, I must be exemplifying Christ in public as I am in Awana (when I walk in the way).

Parental involvement can also be detrimental. I have seen the high expectations placed on children to excel in their Awana handbooks. I’ve seen the fear in the eyes of the child as the parent picks them up and they have not completed all that was expected for the evening and the disappointing look of the parents. Parental involvement needs to be tempered. We want the parents discipling the child, helping them learn about Jesus, but we must remember that it is not a competition. If the mindset is to complete the handbook at all costs, then from my perspective, there is an issue – just like a coach who only plays the “best players” because they have to win. It becomes more about the prize, and less about the instruction. May our focus in Awana be more about the instruction in righteousness than it is about the prize (awards).

May we not be critical of parents and may we walk along side of them, encouraging them in their faith and in their walk with the Lord.