Addressing My Public Sin

For many years I accepted my sin and lived with it. But before I begin, this is my story. I am not conveying this on anyone else or making any specific statement except for the Biblical application.

See, for many years I have put on weight. I can track for over a decade where I often inquired about how to lose weight and what it was that “flipped the switch” in them to intentionally lose weight. I found no answers from others. I tried to find people to keep me accountable, and no one stayed the course because I was not truly onboard. I wanted an external force to be my motivator. The truth was, I knew what the answer was and I did not want to do it.

I had become comfortable in my sin with others. When people would comment I would respond jokingly saying that I was “twice the man I used to be”. I even began to refer to myself as a “fat guy”. While deep down inside it bothered me, I fought what I knew I had to do about it. I even told people why I put on weight (I was sedentary) and what I needed to do to lose it (be active). This is not about weight loss. This is about knowing what to do, and not doing it. James 4:17 says, “Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.” (NASB).

That was my sin. Knowing what I had to do and not doing it! Sadly, this is not the first time I experienced this lesson and it probably will not be the last time.

In the middle of September 2019 I began to be more active since I knew that was what I had to do. I had a modest goal of losing one pound per week, knowing some weeks would be better, some would be worse. I told no one. I had no one encouraging me, and no one holding me accountable. I was doing this alone so if I failed, as I had done so many times before, no one would know. I was determined that I would not say anything until someone noticed and asked me if I was losing weight. That did not happen until the middle of January, four months later! In that four months I had lost about 50 lbs.

That led me to another scriptural revelation, what is done in secret will be made known. Whether that is things we say and our sins (Luke 12:2-3), or our giving and prayers being rewarded (Matthew 6:4-6). No one knew I was working to lose weight, but they could see the results of what I did in secret, though it took four months.

The weight loss was not because of some special plan, it was because I knew what I had to do (be active) and did it. I finally put James 4:17 into practice regarding my weight. Again, this is not about weight loss, it is about being obedient to God and doing what I knew I was to do and my sin of disobedience (knowing and not doing it).

I experienced this in high school as well when I failed the first half of Physics because I simply did not do the work even though I knew that I should. I determined in my heart to pass the second half with “A’s”, which I did simply by doing the work that was assigned. I knew the right thing to do and I did not do it. It was a sin for me. There were other similar times where I knew the right thing to do, but sinned because I did not do it.

My question for you today is simply this, Is there something in your life where you know the right thing to do but you are choosing not to do it?

The children, and others, in your ministry are watching to see how you are following Jesus. What are they seeing as they view your life? We will not be perfect, but I pray they are seeing you doing what you know is right, doing your best to be obedient to God and being able to admit when you have sinned, especially when it is a public sin.

We do what we have determined in our hearts to do. As of this post, I have lost 100 pounds! But ultimately, it is not about the weight loss. The story here is that I finally obeyed God after decades of disobedience and did what I knew was right.

I know that there are other things that I know that I should be doing, some not as public. My goal now it to begin to tackle those other areas of my life where I know the right things to do and begin to do them. You may not know specifically what they are in my life, but my prayer is that you will see how God works through these things and is glorified.

I am no longer twice the man I used to be, but hopefully I am, or am becoming, the man God wants me to be.